You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
