her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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