i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize