well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
