Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
