We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
