38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
