Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
