I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
