Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Randomize
