You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
