Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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