You smell like stripper and shame
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
