i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
