that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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