I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize