roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
