goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
