we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
