i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
This is the high leading the old right now
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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