I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
