lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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