i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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