i would punch a child for taco bell
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
