Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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