I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
