Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I know her cup size but not her name....
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
