nut hugger
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She bit a glass in half.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
