I CAN MOONWALK!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
