They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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