Cold hands, warm shart.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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