if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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