So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
