no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
