Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
