Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
