Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
