No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
