As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
