Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
