I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Randomize
