why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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