I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Randomize