is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
its liver damage thursday
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
