that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
