I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My vagina just recognized that song.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
They are going to name an STD after you.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
