I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
