Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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