There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
