please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
