ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
