so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
