We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
