I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just blew my weed a kiss
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
