Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
