She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
