She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i will never coherently bang her
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
