He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It's just like the Real World with babies
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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