I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Randomize
