I seem to have left my pride at pride
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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