So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
