I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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