We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
