You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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