Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
