Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I want a musical about memes.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
