i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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