the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
