why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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